Day 79 ~ , Today, Tonight and Tomorrow

Tonight I am pondering what I have to share.  I feel that I didn't get a whole heck of a lot accomplished today.  I spent way too much time in front of this computer screen,  but no, I was not mindlessly gazing. It's ominous when one can look back on the hours spent in a day and nothing really significant comes to mind.  At least on first thought.  Just because I didn't get my basement completely cleared, cleaned and in immaculate condition (I really wanted to at least accomplish the clearing and cleaning, immaculate would be a stretch!), doesn't really mean the complete day was a wash.  I just tend to nag on myself when I spend too much time here staring at this monitor.

But I actually had a purpose to the staring . . . I spent some time scanning older photographs.  I'm working on a project for Mother's Day.  Shhh. Don't tell.  Granted, it likely will not be ready by Sunday, but it's a work in progress and our moms are patient!  So I started off scanning and of course things started going wrong, one by one.  Most of my time with the computer is actually spent putting out fires.  I know they are useful and really make us work less, but sometimes I wonder about that. Long story short, the scanning project took a very long time.  Then later, Lindsay and I spent some time looking at off-campus housing at BYU-Idaho.  We made a decision and then after dinner I was back on again completing the housing agreement and paying the deposit.  Seems strange and sad to think of another child gone, so I won't now.  Tomorrow is another day.

And here I am again.  Today  really is 79 days until Greg is home.  So if I don't write my blog - I'm officially behind.  Seems like I predicted that happening.  Oh well!  Tomorrow is Greg's and Mark's Pdays or preparation days.  So I will be writing emails to both of them.  Should I write them tonight or in the morning?  I'm thinking now - while I'm already here typing.  Tomorrow will be good for cleaning and I can ban myself from the computer (until I blog).  Next thing to ponder - should I write one letter to them both like Mike does, or two separate ones?  I always opt for the latter - that way I can individualize them and they're more special.

My pictures tonight will be some of the ones I was scanning earlier today.

Todd's first day of preschool

Pop Pop feeding Garrett

Greg and Mark as Santa's helpers

Cute little Lindsay

Thomas and Lindsay

Cute one of Thomas

I miss these two!

A favorite of Mark

Thomas and I at Yellowstone

Another favorite

Day 89 - A Taste of Home with Hazel

Today my sister Stephanie took a day off from her busy workplace to spend the day with me.  She never ever takes off because her work is so enjoyable to her.  Wish I had that attitude!  But then Stephanie has a positive attitude about just about everything!  So we spent some time tidying up the house and organizing a little bit here and there - she loves to help clean and is an awesome organizer!  That how she's earned the name "Hazel" from my dad.  For those of you too young to remember, Hazel was the name of a TV program about a housekeeper. I'm not THAT old, I just remember the reruns.  So yes, Stephanie, aka Hazel helped me clean house and is a terrific help because I'm not BO, that is born organized.

After some of the cleaning was finished, we took a trip up Hwy N to Louisiana Cafe.  The Friday special was fried catfish and crawfish etouffee, plus we had some gator chips on the side.  That would be fried pickles.  Even though I'm from Louisiana, I've never eaten a gator, nor will I ever have the desire.  So we listened to a little bit of jazz, dined on some seafood and reminisced about Greg who loved to eat at Louisiana Cafe.  I figured out that he will be home in 13 weeks and 5 days and well, 13 weeks and 5 days ago we got home from our trip to Louisiana.  Quite appropriate, I would say!  And yes, I do realize how nerdy, cooky, crazy, sappy and totally desperate it is that I actually know such things.  But such is the life of a missionary mom or any mom who has loved ones far away.  So that's my story for today and laissez le bon temps rouler!

 Steph said the catfish was really good!  It really was!

 Digging in

 Gator Chips

 Fried Catfish and Crawfish Etouffee - very spicy, my sinuses are cleared!

Louisiana Cafe

And again

Yes it is that time of the year again. Every year at this time I add a new post to this blog. Two years ago I was writing about the mall in Baton Rouge, last year about the hillbilly Christmas. They were both written on December 29th. So this year's posting is a day late. This is especially fitting. I seem unable to do much of anything on time. I do have an excuse for not writing though - I was working yesterday and came home still exhausted from work the day Before! Today was my recovery day which means essentially nothing got done - no dishes, no laundry, no home cooked meal. So yes, late has become the story of my life. I am still looking forward to our annual trip home. I am always exhausted this time of year, but this year is different. I am mentally and physicalLy drained. No this is not my usual funny, warm and fuzzy blog entry. I am not feeling especially warm, fuzzy or the least bit comical. I have become the epitome of the Grinch and Scrooge all balled up in one! Well that was a little bit funny. Maybe there is hope for me yet! I have no clue where this is all going- I am actually anxious to see what my point to all of this is.

Overall, life is good. The holidays were nice, Mike has a new job, I will working part time, Greg will be home in about 7 months, Mark will be serving a mission soon, the kids are healthy, Lindz is graduating this May. The Lord has blessed us all tremendously! I am very conscious of his tender mercies each and every day. I have come to a realization of just how much He knows and loves me. But despite all of this, somewhere, somehow, I have lost just a little bit of me. Would the real Gracie please appear? Is she the mom trying to keep up with the housework and homework assignments and schedules? Maybe she is there at the hospital trying to take care of the sick and the weary, becoming weary herself in the process. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day at work is the wonderful mission statement of our hospital-that through exceptional healthcare, we reveal the healing presence of God. I think of myself as being the Savior's hands, giving service to those in need. but in giving service to my patients, I feel that I am neglecting to serve those closest and dearest to me. I am drained. I am spent. And feel insignificant somehow - the consummate wallflower.

I have one day to get my house clean, clothes washed, and start packing and I don't really know where to begin. But it will get done, just wish I had not spent today in total veg mode. So my hope is that the new year brings some calm. I have some ideas and strategies for better time management and destressing (that don't include Xanax), some plans for finding the old "me". Now I know some friends will read this and think I've lost my mind. Really, it's all good; I am blessed and know where to turn. Writing is wonderful therapy and helps me focus my thoughts. The Good Lord will direct my path - He always does.

Simplify

To simplify is to make easy or uncomplicated. So how does one go about simplifying one's life? I have a little knick~knack that sits on my table in the living room that says "SIMPLIFY". I also have a sign over my front door in the foyer that reads "KEEP IT SIMPLE". I placed these things there in the hopes that I would pay attention to them on occasion. I haven't been paying attention. But still a voice whispers every once in a while into my ear, saying, "SIMPLIFY". I pretend not to hear and then the voice becomes louder still, "SIMPLIFY!"

So I am writing this entry to keep myself somewhat accountable. If I write it, it will be. Kind of like, "If you build it they will come." So if I'm taking the time to write this, then I will surely try to simplify the complexities of my life. Not that my life is that complicated, it just seems to be at times. I tend to overthink things and complicate them more. So how can I simplify?

First thing is to dejunk my home. I keep saying I am going to get rid of stuff and I manage to declutter a little bit at a time. But my house is in need of a total overhaul. I've tried to teach my kids that less can indeed be more, but I need to teach more by example and start getting rid of some stuff!

Once the decluttering process has begun, I must firmly commit to not bringing any more junk in: bought, borrowed, stolen (well, I never steal) but NOTHING can enter that is not essential. And if one new item makes it through the front door, then logically one old item must say "Adios". I'm not good at goodbyes.

I next must simplify all the complexities and complications that occur in my mind. I am an expert at making mountains out of molehills. But I'm severely lacking when it comes to creating molehills out of mountains. I'm not sure how to accomplish this feat. Prayer certainly helps and some positive self talk. So I'm resolving to do more of those.

In all things I resolve to keep it simple. Note: this is my resolution, albeit 3 weeks late. But I'm not going to overthink this. I can make a resolution any time of year. I'll keep it simple when shopping, when discussing things with my kids ( I tend to go on and on, long after they've gotten the point); I'll simplify our Family Nights, I've already been getting better at that, but those can go on and on way too long; I'll simplify my living spaces, my work spaces ~ all of which will hopefully lead to better organization. I'll keep meals simple while healthy. And speaking of decluttering and dejunking ~ that goes for my body too. Simplifying what goes in and exercising to get rid of excess. So I'm not dieting, I'm simplifying. I wrote it so now I'm accountable.

Tomorrow is a new day. I know new habits take a while. I'll give it a while. There will be challenges. But I'm ready to face them. And not give in to discouragement.

Time to simplify.

Just Catchin' Up

So, I haven't posted anything in over a month and am frankly wondering what I have to say that would be of any interest to anyone but myself. And the truth is that it's not all that interesting to me but, in the interest of keeping up with things here it goes: I'm just playing catch up with my life and busy kids. (And by the way I am totally in awe of those of you who can blog about a piece of lint and make it way entertaining!)

My kids have been on spring break this week and I have been at school, mostly. So my house is ready to be condemned. The kids do not do their own laundry and do not do the dishes without being asked, so enough said on that subject. And of course they've been showering in my bathroom. (see previous blog)

Lindsay failed to pass the driving test twice - I am sort of relieved, for at least another week until she tries yet again. It is hard to parallel park a Dodge Durango though and she actually got points taken off for driving below the speed limit! That's OK, just go ahead and drive like a little granny. She had cheer tryouts last week and she is now a Varsity cheerleader!

Mark is off planning new war videos for his American Lit class (they're reading a novel about Vietnam). So more destruction to come! (umm, see previous blog on boys).

Hockey is over for a brief while. Todd will start again next week with Spring hockey, Mark is done till next year.

Greg is planning for his mission by playing video games nonstop in between college classes. If you don't see the connection, that's Okay because neither do I.

Garrett is still peeing and pooping in his big boy pants which is really disgusting. Michael tells him he won't turn four until he stops and then Garrett cries. Potty training is supposed to get easier with each child, I thought. I was obviously misinformed!

Dear Thomas is in his own world watching Phineas and Ferb and playing Wii for way too many hours of the day. He's driving us crazy for a new video game which will not happen and he doesn't understand. He is a lesson in patience for me! We have been to a neurologist and will see a psychologist in a few weeks about a possible diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. Too heavy to talk about here and now, so will save that until later.

I am starting my preceptorship in Labor and Delivery next week. I am excited, but am dreading getting up at 4:30 and working 12 hour shifts. I finished my resume and am getting ready to start applying for jobs. Even though there is a nursing shortage, the hospitals are cutting back on hiring for awhile.

Mike is still looking for a job. His lay off is not effective until July, so we remain hopeful. He's looking into starting a business if nothing else surfaces before then.

Okay this sounds kind of depressing which was not my intent. Blogs should be fun to read. But, I'm happy and we're well and the kids are growing like bad grass! Todd, especially. And I know we'll be blessed someway, somehow! When the Lord closes a door, he opens a window, right??? You just have have your eyes open so you can find it!!! So, I am caught up, for now. . .

The Irony of it All

Let's see, three weeks ago I was busy juggling family and studying fo my nursing final. When my final was over I began Christmas shopping and finished decorating the house. I started cleaning all the parts of the house that were neglected during my weeks of school and made a lame attempt to catch up with my never ending laundry. Then there was more shopping and then even more shopping as I would think of people that I had initially left off of my list. Then there was a hockey game here and another one there, and when was I going to take Garrett to see Santa? Lucky for me, Santa made a surprise appearance at his pre-school. Then there was all the wrapping of the aforementioned presents. I was also busy planning a party for Greg's 19th birthday and then Mark asked me to help him plan a surprise going away party for his girlfriend the night before Greg's party. And what about the Christmas cards??? I was much more organized this year and ordered them weeks ahead of time and picked them up as soon as they were ready. Then they sat on my desk and patiently waited while I collected stamps and lost addresses and toyed with the idea of a Christmas letter to accompany the picture card.

The parties were a lot of fun and two days later I was back at the mall for more shopping of course! Then there was the baking of the goodies and last minute preparations on Christmas Eve. We spent that evening at my mom's and enjoyed wonderful chicken gumbo and then the blessed day finally arrived. Most of the kids were happy. One child who shall remain nameless was quite upset that Santa had screwed up one of his presents. But all in all it was a pleasant laid back afternoon. Then came the mad dash to get 8 people ready for our trip to Louisiana. There was tons more laundry to tackle and suitcases to pack. My poor washer and dryer got a workout that night and into the wee hours of the morning, as the kids realized that they needed this shirt clean and these pants washed! We traveled the 12 hours in two cars with Michael and I in one car with a couple of kids and all the teens in another car. That made for a nice change!

Throughout these couple of weeks, I was tired and crabby and frustrated and overwhelmed by all the things that had to get accomplished in such a short time! I was so looking forward to some time away - a respite from the chaos of my hectic life!

We've been here for 3 days now. Michael's parents live in the country, about a 30 minute drive from Baton Rouge. It is quiet and warm enough to go outside. (Garrett and I spent some time the other day in a hammock under the gazebo). There was nothing pressing for me to do, no laundry to wash, no dishes piling in the sink. The kids spent most of the weekend on the computer and playing their video games. There can be no vacation from the video games!!! All three game systems made the trip with us! Greg's watching football, Lindsay's reading her latest in the Twilight series, Mark spends too much time on the cell phone talking to his girlfriend who is now moved away and Garrett totally plays with his presents from Santa ( What would we do without Batman?) There's little fighting overall. The rain falling on the tin roof is quite calming. I've caught up on all the lost sleep and had time to start reading Twilight ( I put it off till now because I knew I would never be able to read it while still in nursing school.) And lo and behold I have actually started writing on this blog, which I created like 5 months ago!

So with all this peace and serenity and almost boredom - how did I spend my day today? Why I took that 30 minute drive into Baton Rouge and found the Mall of Louisiana for more shopping of course! My addled brain cannot handle exess amounts of relaxation and sleep! So Lindsay and I set off and I paid the price, I am afraid. I was assaulted with tons of noise and Oh my gosh - the smells - candles and perfumes and Hollister. Need I say more? After four hours a full blown migraine had overcome me and I made haste to return to the tranquility of the country. And then there was the traffic- apparently I was not the only one wishing to get home. But here I sit typing away, grateful for the time to have started this post and wondering how long before I seek to challenge the peace and quiet - the irony of it all!