And again

Yes it is that time of the year again. Every year at this time I add a new post to this blog. Two years ago I was writing about the mall in Baton Rouge, last year about the hillbilly Christmas. They were both written on December 29th. So this year's posting is a day late. This is especially fitting. I seem unable to do much of anything on time. I do have an excuse for not writing though - I was working yesterday and came home still exhausted from work the day Before! Today was my recovery day which means essentially nothing got done - no dishes, no laundry, no home cooked meal. So yes, late has become the story of my life. I am still looking forward to our annual trip home. I am always exhausted this time of year, but this year is different. I am mentally and physicalLy drained. No this is not my usual funny, warm and fuzzy blog entry. I am not feeling especially warm, fuzzy or the least bit comical. I have become the epitome of the Grinch and Scrooge all balled up in one! Well that was a little bit funny. Maybe there is hope for me yet! I have no clue where this is all going- I am actually anxious to see what my point to all of this is.

Overall, life is good. The holidays were nice, Mike has a new job, I will working part time, Greg will be home in about 7 months, Mark will be serving a mission soon, the kids are healthy, Lindz is graduating this May. The Lord has blessed us all tremendously! I am very conscious of his tender mercies each and every day. I have come to a realization of just how much He knows and loves me. But despite all of this, somewhere, somehow, I have lost just a little bit of me. Would the real Gracie please appear? Is she the mom trying to keep up with the housework and homework assignments and schedules? Maybe she is there at the hospital trying to take care of the sick and the weary, becoming weary herself in the process. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day at work is the wonderful mission statement of our hospital-that through exceptional healthcare, we reveal the healing presence of God. I think of myself as being the Savior's hands, giving service to those in need. but in giving service to my patients, I feel that I am neglecting to serve those closest and dearest to me. I am drained. I am spent. And feel insignificant somehow - the consummate wallflower.

I have one day to get my house clean, clothes washed, and start packing and I don't really know where to begin. But it will get done, just wish I had not spent today in total veg mode. So my hope is that the new year brings some calm. I have some ideas and strategies for better time management and destressing (that don't include Xanax), some plans for finding the old "me". Now I know some friends will read this and think I've lost my mind. Really, it's all good; I am blessed and know where to turn. Writing is wonderful therapy and helps me focus my thoughts. The Good Lord will direct my path - He always does.

Another Vacation Gone!

I am so sad when it's time to come home from a vacation. I literally get choked up a little. I guess because so much effort goes into the planning and then you're actually going ~ and before you know it ~ it's over, all too quickly!

Why just a week ago today, we were on our way, the horrible task of packing behind us. So much to look forward to - relaxing, spending precious time as a family, for me ~ actually having time to start and finish a book.

So today, as I was preparing to leave ~ I was standing on the balcony of our bedroom, looking out over the rolling hills, enjoying the light breeze and wondering where the week had gone ~ I said a little prayer that my mood would lighten and that I would focus on the positive.

So even though I'm sad that the vacation is over, I'm so grateful that we had the opportunity to get away for a while. I'm thankful for being able to sit in the sunshine and watch my kids splash in the pool. I loved the sounds of the water cascading in the pool. I loved watching the kids ride the jet ski on Table Rock Lake. That evening, the water was so calm and still and was as a sheet of glass as the teenagers attempted to get up on their skis.

I truly relished the chance to delve into a good book and catch up on the adventures of Edward and Jacob. In my opinion, Bella deserves neither of them ~ I'm just saying.

And strolling down the avenue at Branson Landing, watching Garrett jump in the puddles as the rain continued to lightly tap the bricks; peeking in the shops; purchasing some salt water taffy at the candy store. Then taking in the lights and fountain playing in tandem to the music. Viewing the fog as it hovered over the lake near the boardwalk. All of those things, though simple, brought just a touch of happiness and serenity.

A night out with Michael, though the buffet was really awful, but just some time alone while the big kids and their friends took the little ones out for a game of putt-putt.

Then last night, laying with Garrett, as he fought sleep and pressed his little hand into mine and asked me to stay with him. I was already dreading coming home, but that little hand comforted me as I knew it would be coming home with me also.

It always takes me a while to get back in the swing of things. Back to the ho hum and hum drum. That's what makes it so very hard. Last week I has all these plans - nothing really big or special, just different; and now WHAT? Only time will tell, until then ~ I have some awesome memories!

Marky-Mark

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2010 thus far. . .

So 2010 began noisily as it should have. We welcomed in the New Year with friends and spent all of New Years day packing for our trip home to Louisiana. Mark's girlfriend, Melissa, came over to help him pack and say "bye."

We left that night and drove through the night arriving in Livington early the next morning. Mark's best friend Tre' was our traveling buddy once again.



The week passed rather quickly but we enjoyed our time with Michael's parents. Mike and his dad took the kids on a boat ride on the Amite River despite the unusually cold temperature. It definitely felt a little more like Missouri while we were there.

We also spent a day in New Orleans, walking through the French Quarter, eating poboys and muffalatas at Cafe Maspero's and later beignets at Cafe du Monde. It's becoming an annual tradition. Mike's mom fed us wonderfully well too. We savored every bite of seafood gumbo, pot roast, spaghetti, barbecued chicken, not to mention 2 huge red velvet cakes, homemade chocolate pies and rolls. Plus there was some dirty rice, boiled shrimp, a king cake and I've likely forgotten what else contributed to the nearly 5 pounds I gained.

After we arrived home I began looking for another job. I could tell it was time for me to leave the nursing home behind. Plus I needed full time hours and Mike and I were both beginning to become stressed. Fortunately things turned out as I knew they would. I had faith that Heavenly Father had something in mind. Just home this is what it was ~ I start a new job tomorrow at DePaul Hospital. I will be working on a cardiac telemetry unit: taking care of patients following MIs, cardiac surgeries and procedures; a stepdown from the ICU. I am excited about the new challenges ahead and yes, somewhat nervous too! I am anxious to learn much more.

Other events from January include Thomas turning 10,

the pinewood derby at Cub Scouts

and the Saints making it to the Superbowl! February is already halfway gone ~ Todd turned 13 last week

and well, the Saints actually WON the Superbowl!!! We had a bunch of friends over to watch the game and help celebrate this long awaited victory. We in complete N'Awlins fashion had tons of food. I even found a local bakery that had black and gold king cake and Saints cookies. Sweet! This was special to any fan New Orleans born and raised as we are. But it was a bittersweet time as Greg who is undoubtedly one of their biggest fans was not here to savor this moment in history. In fact he didn't even get to watch the game as he was busy doing what he set out to do: teaching others about our Church and the Saviour. But I crafted a "stick Greg" as he will forever be known that watched the game with us and "paced" back and forth during the tense moments.

It's taken me forever to get this post situated the way I wanted. It's snowing again tonight. Time for bed now. Traffic will likely be horrible as I venture to my first day of orientation. Wish me luck!

Simplify

To simplify is to make easy or uncomplicated. So how does one go about simplifying one's life? I have a little knick~knack that sits on my table in the living room that says "SIMPLIFY". I also have a sign over my front door in the foyer that reads "KEEP IT SIMPLE". I placed these things there in the hopes that I would pay attention to them on occasion. I haven't been paying attention. But still a voice whispers every once in a while into my ear, saying, "SIMPLIFY". I pretend not to hear and then the voice becomes louder still, "SIMPLIFY!"

So I am writing this entry to keep myself somewhat accountable. If I write it, it will be. Kind of like, "If you build it they will come." So if I'm taking the time to write this, then I will surely try to simplify the complexities of my life. Not that my life is that complicated, it just seems to be at times. I tend to overthink things and complicate them more. So how can I simplify?

First thing is to dejunk my home. I keep saying I am going to get rid of stuff and I manage to declutter a little bit at a time. But my house is in need of a total overhaul. I've tried to teach my kids that less can indeed be more, but I need to teach more by example and start getting rid of some stuff!

Once the decluttering process has begun, I must firmly commit to not bringing any more junk in: bought, borrowed, stolen (well, I never steal) but NOTHING can enter that is not essential. And if one new item makes it through the front door, then logically one old item must say "Adios". I'm not good at goodbyes.

I next must simplify all the complexities and complications that occur in my mind. I am an expert at making mountains out of molehills. But I'm severely lacking when it comes to creating molehills out of mountains. I'm not sure how to accomplish this feat. Prayer certainly helps and some positive self talk. So I'm resolving to do more of those.

In all things I resolve to keep it simple. Note: this is my resolution, albeit 3 weeks late. But I'm not going to overthink this. I can make a resolution any time of year. I'll keep it simple when shopping, when discussing things with my kids ( I tend to go on and on, long after they've gotten the point); I'll simplify our Family Nights, I've already been getting better at that, but those can go on and on way too long; I'll simplify my living spaces, my work spaces ~ all of which will hopefully lead to better organization. I'll keep meals simple while healthy. And speaking of decluttering and dejunking ~ that goes for my body too. Simplifying what goes in and exercising to get rid of excess. So I'm not dieting, I'm simplifying. I wrote it so now I'm accountable.

Tomorrow is a new day. I know new habits take a while. I'll give it a while. There will be challenges. But I'm ready to face them. And not give in to discouragement.

Time to simplify.